Sunday, March 17, 2013

Quick Goals Check-In

As I was sewing some more kids clothing yesterday, I got to thinking about my goals for this year and decided to do a little check-in.


1. Daniel is starting kindergarten this year. 
This is still true. :) 

2. Babies
No decisions made. I'm waiting until this summer to make a choice. 

3. I am going to sew for ME! 
Failing miserably here. Did start a Pinterest board with links for me AND I have saved like 5 patterns that I want to make. Steps in the right direction at least.

4. Quilting! 
Lots of reading, no action

5. Simplify. 
I have gotten rid of more stuff. The hard stuff even. Crafting supplies. More could go. 

6. Read more. 
Meh. I could do way worse. I could do better.

7. Loss
We survived.

8. Avoiding things that annoy the crap out of me. 
I have been doing awesome at this.

9. We have started a "good memories" jar. 
I have been doing OK. Daniel and Trey aren't participating much, but maybe I can motivate them.

10. My job
Things have happened at work since January, so I am working on survival right now. We are short a person and I am the back up. It's been tough.

11. Being a better parent
I'm really trying.

12. Raising an introvert
We talk about how we feel a lot and I am trying to give him the words and tools to cope.

13. Word for the year
I am trying. Very hard. It has been a stressful kind of year. Learning to accept and let go it tough. I tend to internalize things and then eat my emotions. Embracing the pain/stress/frustration is really a learning experience for me. 

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

10 subtle ways to show your partner you love them

My friend Laura recently wrote a post called 25 Ways to Communicate Respect to Your Husband that Aren't Offensively Sexist. It was in response to a similar, but seriously offensive, blog post that was going around Pinterest like crazy. Oh Pinterest, how I love and hate thee. The pin linked to a blog post where there was a list of  25 things a wife could do to communicate respect, and as a follow up, 25 things a husband could do to show love.

If I can be perfectly straight here, (And I can because it's my blog. Seriously, my name is even in the title. Take a look.), Laura paraphrases me in another post about these lists and makes me sound a whole lot nicer than I am. Short summary of the original lists: "girls, give up everything to please your husband and just focus on keeping a nice, clean house; guys, don't be too gross or abusive." My actual quote was something along the lines of:

Women's list: submit to his every desire and whim.
Men's list: try to be a decent fucking human being, pretty please?

As a feminist, it is frustrating to still be fighting this thinking. There are over 1,000 comments on the blog post, with a very small percentage doing anything but posting agreement. 

Anyway. I thought I'd make a list a things couples can do to show each other love. 25 things is pushing it as I've already been interrupted three times by my darling child while writing these few paragraphs.

This is a scan. My wedding pre-dates digital photography.  I am old.


1. Step in when your partner is frustrated. 
Trey and I "tap out" when our little dude gets the best of us, something is annoying, or maybe things just aren't working out for us. I know if I cry for help he will be there because I will be there too. 

2. Listen, even when you'd rather do something else.
I listen to Trey talk about things that bore the crap out of me. *cough* football *cough* cars *cough* music.   I try and ask questions to clarify my understanding. I still don't watch the stupid games though. That's pushing it. 

3. Put down the phone/computer/tablet and make some eye contact.
I work in my office a lot. When Trey comes in to talk to me I turn my chair completely around so that he knows he has my attention. When I have one of my brilliant ideas he'll put his Fire down and look at me. 

4. Do your "unassigned" duties once in a while.
In my house Trey and I have jobs that we have naturally fallen into over the (almost 11 years). He does dishes, I do the laundry. He washes the cars, I clean our room. He mops, I vacuum. I really really love it when he does something that I normally do. It takes that little thing off of me and shows he cares. 

5. Find something that really really annoys you and work your hardest to get the hell over it.
Trey sleeps with.his.mouth.open. He breathes all over me and steals my oxygen. It is kind of the most annoying thing in the whole entire world. In our newly married days I would wake him up to tell him how annoying it was and make him roll over. Then we were both pissy. It didn't work. Now I just sigh and roll over. Once I stopped making a big deal out of it, it became less of a big deal. 

6. Embrace his/her hobbies. 
I sew. A lot. It is my thing. It makes me happy and Trey fully embraces it. He has been known to do a quick fabric/thread/elastic run for me. He doesn't balk at the thought of getting the fabric cut for me or giving his opinion on designs. I truly feel supported in my hobby. I also full support his 3K hobbies as money permits. Dude is into everything. Comics, football cards, woodworking, and Hot Wheels come to mind first. He has many many loves. I helped him organize his cards, searched through racks of Hot Wheels at Target, looked for straight boards at Home Depot, and searched for Dead Pool at the comic book store. This doesn't mean that these are my hobbies, I just support and respect his. 

7. Avoid situations where you can't do the right thing.
I can't help but to tell Trey how to drive. It may have something to do with the fact that I taught him to drive (yes we have been together that long) or maybe I need that control. I seriously can't stop myself, so I drive 97% of the time. He doesn't have the verbal diarrhea that comes with me operating a car, so this totally works out for us. 

8. Be silly
When we are arguing or the moment is really tense, we have been known to make a joke, stick out our tongues, or say/do something inappropriate. Since we are both 10-years-old at heart, this works to break that tension and generally calm us both down. Even when we aren't arguing we are silly with one another. We are both major geeks and if I can't let my geek flag fly with him, I can't do it with anyone. 

9. Find something to share.
Trey and I like different things. I'm not that into music (There I said it, world. I am NOT taking it back.) and he really is. I like reading, he could take it or leave it. I could count the number of movies I've seen in a theater over the last ten years on one hand. We really struggled to find something that we could totally enjoy together. Then we found two: video games and home renovations. We've kicked some ass together in Black Ops team death match, built some sweet stuff in Minecraft, and, if I may go way back for a minute, destroyed Maleficent in Kingdom Hearts I and II. We've also torn apart a kitchen, retiled our living room, and painted more than I care to remember. Being different is really important, but finding things you love together is really special. 

10. Don't take lists like this too seriously.
We are all just these weird mammals on this big blue marble. As long as your relationship isn't unhealthy, who cares? Couples truly fascinate me and what works for me, may not even come close to helping you. My sister and her husband rarely fight. Trey and I fight more than I wish we did. We are both happy though. If you are part of one of those weird couples that never fight, seriously, explain to me how that works.

Monday, February 25, 2013

New Layout

Check out my sweet new layout. 

OK, technically it is just a new header and background. I also got rid of some clutter over there.
------->

I love paint.NET. It is awesome, and free, and allows me to change my bloggy stuff on a whim. Also, I got those awesome vintage scissors from The Graphics Fairy. The stuff she offers (all free) is unreal. 

Sorry for the drive by, I've already hit snooze twice!

Saturday, February 16, 2013

We made it through

We made it through January.

My sister and I were talking and we both had the same experience. January 25th was WAY worse than January 26th. It is funny how the anticipation was the worst part. Brains can be mean.

Seven years was really hard. Then again, our seventh year of marriage was really hard. There's something about seven.

D has his first loose tooth. I cried. What is it about losing teeth that has me all sad? Like the last bit of my baby is vanishing before my eyes. I remember when those teeth came in, and frankly so do my boobs, ouch. He is pretty excited, so I waited until I was driving to work to cry. I need to check into Tooth Fairy rates.
I have a loose tooth and I dress myself. Also, I'm moving out next week.

I've started a new project with some friends. We have started a Congo on Hyena Cart. Basically we are just creating 5 things per person each month around a common theme. March is rainbows. I'm selling under the name Sweet Little Stitches. Our official date is March 22, so we are just previewing items until then. I'm still selling at Imperfect Crafters too. That's still my selling home.

Work has been almost completely overwhelming lately. We are short staffed, so I am doing a job and a half. I still love my job, but I am not looking forward to March. It is going to get worse before it gets better. It is funny though, I have way more responsibility, way more pressure, and so much is being demanded of me. I am happier than last year. So, so much happier. I am respected and thanked on a regular basis. Crazy.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Fucking January

I've been sick. Not like super sick, but sick enough to stay home because I can't function at work. But there has been something more. I've had a tightness in my chest. I am anxious and overly sensitive. I've been craving starchy foods. I've felt a lead-like heaviness in my joints. I want to sleep all the time. I was considering going to the doctor. A flu maybe? A nasty virus? My lupus acting up?

And then it all clicked.

It is January.

January always sucks. Always.

Even when my brain denies it, my body always knows. She grew inside my body so maybe part of her is still here to remind me. Just like clockwork. Like I could ever forget.

Seven years. Seven long years. She would be in first grade. She looked like Trey. She'd have his goofy smile  and full lips. She'd read bedtime stories under the covers at bedtime and probably like princesses. There would be sleepovers with her cousins and oh the things I could sew for her.

But that fucking egg just couldn't split right. And it messed up everything. Now I'll spend most of my life missing her instead of just getting to love her.

But we wouldn't have Daniel. We wouldn't have had them so close together. Imagining my life without him hurts too much to ponder for very long. I've learned so  much as the mom of this little boy. He is absolutely fantastic. An awesome little person.

Pictorial evidence of aforementioned awesomeness. 


And what about me? Without all that pain of losing her who would I even be now? Her short life and death shaped me in ways that I am still discovering. Losing her turned me off of religion, onto vegetarianism, gave me this horrid anxiety, and made me love everyone around me better. I've done things I never thought I'd do like attend group therapy where I cried with strangers, contemplate the easiest and fastest way to die, and then come back from what felt like the brink to experience pure elation at holding my healthy robust, perfectly formed child in my arms.

It is all so surreal I don't know if my tears are joy, sadness or, as I suspect, some strange mixture of both.

Just like every January I have to let myself mourn, cry, feel sad, and then find something to feel happy about. And there is so so much to feel happy about. But for now I am giving myself a break. I am going to let myself cry, not be very productive, spend too much time on the internet, and let the dog hair attempt to weave itself into carpet over the tile flooring. Time will go on, I will snap out of it, and eventually I'll feel better.

But honestly: fuck January.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

My favorite breakfast

When I was nursing Daniel I ate a lot of oatmeal. I had a heck of a time pumping enough for him because he consumed mass amounts of milk which now translates to mass amounts of food (he's on second breakfast right now, apparently he's part Hobbit). I can't remember how I stumbled upon mixing yogurt and oatmeal, but I did. They are two of my favorite foods, so it was a natural progression. Anyway, I was browsing Pinterest and apparently this is a thing. It was reassuring to know that I wasn't completely off. Since seeing it a few months ago on Pinterest, I've seen it other places too.

Here's my take.

I  must admit that taking pictures of my oatmeal was really strange for me and took way longer than it should have. And I didn't even get any shots that were worth a crap. Hats off to food bloggers.

That's as good as it gets, folks.


The basic mixture is:
2 parts oatmeal (I rec quick oats unless you make it the night before)
3 parts yogurt
Whatever fruit you want. I like blueberries the best. I use fresh when I can, but unsweetened frozen when I can't

If you use quick oats, then stir and let it sit for like 5-10 mins. Then enjoy. I just make a weeks worth and store them in mason jars in the fridge and grab one each morning to eat at work. They keep for quite a while.

If you are into nutritional info here's mine from My Fitness Pal:


Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Well hello 2013!

My last post was about 12 things that happened in 2012. Here are 13 things that will happen/I am hoping for/I plan to do in 2013.

I pink puffy heart this shirt.

1. Daniel is starting kindergarten this year. 
I have decided to take him with me to my school. It is an entirely different school district and locally it is known as one of the rougher ones. People keep making a big deal out  of it when I say that he is coming to my school. I'm sure our neighborhood school is perfectly lovely, but I know these teachers and staff and they are amazing people. I have every confidence that he will flourish there. It is very telling to me when people comment on how different the kids are and am I really sure I want him exposed to all that? Like I believe for a second that more money = better kids. 

2. Babies
I hope to come to a conclusion on the whole baby thing. Trey and I had a talk last week and we aren't even sure that we should have another one. One part is fear. I know it is silly (I tell myself it is anyway), but I conceived a baby with major chromosomal abnormalities at 23. I was so young. I am 31 now. My chances are significantly higher, even higher than a regular 31-year-old. It is scary. The second part is comfort. We are all happy and comfortable where we are now. Do I want to uproot all of that? I know we'd find a new normal and I would love a baby with everything I have, but change is hard. There is this lingering want that I can't analyze no matter how hard I try. We haven't made any decisions. I don't even know if we are leaning one way or another. I'm just waiting for the answer to come. 

3. I am going to sew for ME! 
I rarely do. The last clothing I can remember making myself was before D was born. Seriously sad. 


forgive the super HQ Instagram pic

4. Quilting! 
I am so excited to be taking up quilting. I got an awesome quilting book from my grandma for Christmas. Trey has volunteered to be my first victim. He even went to the store and picked out and bought his own fabric. Cute. He grew up with a family that was into quilting, so he really loves the thought of me making them. 

5. Simplify. 
I really love the thought of getting rid of about half of what we own. We live in a small house and we may very well live here for a long time. We took seven bags and two boxes to Goodwill yesterday. It was awesome. 

6. Read more. 
I read a lot, but I could read so much more. I need to carve out the time for it. I failed my reading goals last year. 

7. Loss
This year will mark 7 years since we lost our daughter. It makes me sad that it happened so long ago. Like the further we get from it, the more I am supposed to be "over it." I'm not. The tears still come so easily. I wonder if that will ever change. 

8. Avoiding things that annoy the crap out of me. 
This means I am going to have to completely stop reading comments on news articles and YouTube videos. The lowest form of humanity gathers in comment sections across the web and they all attempt to out-asshole each other. They breed little hate babies which grow and consume humanity, dignity, and all sense of decency. Eventually the comments degrade so that they are a series of grunts and words like "meh," "lulz," and "heh." It is no good my friends. Stay away. 

Yes, that is a pink elephant. Be jealous!

9. We have started a "good memories" jar. 
We don't have to write every day, just when we feel compelled. We plan to read them next New Years Eve.

10. My job
I love my job and I am doing it well, but I really want to take it even further. I am not happy with simply doing my job, I need to rock it. I have lots of ideas in the works. 

11. Being a better parent
I've never been a bad parent. When he was small I could draw my patience from this seemingly endless well. Most of what he did I found completely amusing. I laughed a lot. Now I don't have as much patience. It could be his developmental stage in life, or it could be me, but it is probably a combination. 

12. Raising an introvert
Daniel is a fantastic human being. I'm proud to be his mom. I came to a realization recently, he is a lot like me. He does things I remember doing. My mom even said to me on Halloween when I was lamenting about how shy he was and how it can be embarrassing sometimes, "Honey, he is you." This means he is an introvert. This isn't a bad thing, but it is something that I feared he would be. I know from experience that it is hard to be an introvert in a world that respects and rewards extroversion. The least I can do is to help him understand what he is feeling and give him a safe harbor that he will crave. I just need to go ahead and get over the weird looks I get when new people want to talk to him and he can't/won't talk back. He has to assess the situation and feel comfortable before chatting you up about Minecraft, The Avengers, or his sweet ninja skills, so go ahead and get out of his face. This also means he is thoughtful, observant, and really imaginative. 

13. Word for the year
I have decided to have a one word reflection for the year. Something to think about if I am troubled or need guidance. I have been batting a few ideas around in my brain like simplify, patience, tranquility, all these lovely words, but then it struck me: embrace. Not too flashy, but it works. I want to embrace this new year, changes, decisions, projects, or milestones. It is all about going easier on myself too. Embrace me and who I am and what that means. Physical embraces are good too. Hugs are good for the soul! 

Monday, December 10, 2012

12 things from 2012

Hi.

I haven't felt compelled to write recently. I told myself that I wouldn't force myself to write and I wouldn't feel guilty either.

2012 is almost over. Crazy, huh? So I am going to recap 12 important things from 2012.

1. I graduated with my MS in August. Not only was this a super important step for me for my career, it made my parents and grandparents extremely proud. And me too. And probably Trey. I worked full time, had a young child, and still pulled off a 4.0. I was kind of awesome. I didn't exactly do it alone. Trey was awesome, and my friend Laura too. Sometimes I still wake in a panic thinking I forgot a deadline.
Check out my crazy long hair. I've chopped a lot off since this pic. 

2. My MIL passed away in August. She was diagnosed with breast cancer right after my husband was born and was in remission until roughly 6 months before she passed away. I am so sad for Trey. He has handled it extremely well all things considered. He and his father have grown closer as well. That is something that I didn't think would ever happen.

3. I switched jobs (also in August). I went to a new position (librarian!!!) back at my old school. And though I AGONIZED about the decision, I haven't regretted it once. I am happy.

4. Daniel turned five. It just sounds too big. I am not happy about it.

5. I haven't successfully conceived in 2012. I'm actually totally OK with it. Daniel is awesome and I'm just enjoying him. I'm hoping 2013 is our year. :) 

6.  I like me. It has taken me until I am 31 to say that. Weird, huh? I really do like myself though. I'm totally not perfect, but I have some great skills, I have a lot to offer the world, and I am pretty content with who I am.

7.  I seriously love sewing. I get into a lot of crafts, but they bore me after a while. Sewing is still my thing. I love to create things. Even if I never sold another thing, I'd keep sewing and just give stuff away. I even teach it after school on Thursdays. It is amazing to me how into it the kids get. We have seven machines, seven kiddos in my class, and a full waiting list. 

8. My heart is happy whenever the three of these kiddos are together. 
Love D's fake smile
They fight sometimes, but they love each other so much.

9. We went camping a lot this summer. It was brutally hot, but we had so much fun. 
Our tent trailer in front of my parents' sweet rig. 


10. My sister started a new addiction for me. It's called Minecraft. It has spread to the young ones as well. Here they are on Thanksgiving. I'm ashamed to admit that I have Minecraft on my PC, XBOX 360, Fire, and phone. Ridiculous. 

Nana playing on my phone, Pia playing on her mom's Fire, and D playing on my Fire. 


11. Of all the things I made for selling this year, this dress is my favorite. I'm so glad it went to a good home!
I bought the pattern here


12. And of all the things I made this year for me, these guys are my favorite. They are cute and we use them ALL the time. The left one holds K-Cups and the right one holds our mini blender and its accessories. They look a bit wonky, but I just looked and they are fine. 

I got instructions for them here. Instead of the binding like she used, I just cut the lining too long and folded it over and sewed. Worked like a charm.

So those are my 12 things for 2012. Some big, some small, all important to me.

Monday, August 13, 2012

I know, I know

I stopped the Keep it Real Challenge. My original plan was 5 weeks, but life got in the way. That's the most keeping-it-real thing of all.

I'm fighting a bit of back to school depression. This was my first summer off in three years and it just flew by.

I graduated from the University of North Texas on Friday with my Master's in Library Science. I was even invited to join Beta Phi Mu, an honor's society, so I got to wear purple and white cords. I went really great with my mustard yellow gold hood.

On the road to Denton!


Me signing the book of awesome at the honor's society induction. Not visible: sparkly purple rhinestones on the pen. 


Today is my last day of freedom, so naturally I went on a job interview. I really really love my school. It is pretty and brand new, I picked out all of the books myself, I put them on the shelf, I loved it so much. But it is really far from my house. I was having to drop Daniel off at 6:30 in the morning so I could be to work by 7:30. I didn't always make it. And honestly, I never really found my niche with the adults in the school.

The librarian at my former school (that I had worked at for 5 years) resigned. As soon as he announced his resignation I got two Facebook messages, two texts, and an email from my former colleagues asking me to apply. I resisted. Trey told me that I needed to do what was best for my family. My drive would be 20 minutes now. I talked to my mom, sister, and friends.Then the librarian himself begged me to take over his library. He really wanted to know that it would go to someone that would care for it. He worked so hard. He was the entire reason I became a librarian. I resisted.  Then I met for my weekly breakfast with friends. I am pretty sure that they decided to gang up on me ahead of time. They wore me down. I applied.

Then I freaked out.

I have this weird loyalty to anyone that will hire me. Like, I think I am such a bad interviewer that if they hire me it must be because they pity  me, or they think they can mold me, not because I interviewed well. Yeah, yeah, I have issues.So I had this loyalty thing going on and I felt like I betrayed my principal because she hired me and now I was leaving. I know this is lame and nonsensical, but that knowledge doesn't make it go away.

I interviewed two hours ago. It was the best interview I have ever given and also the best one that has ever been given to me. And this figures, because it was all a formality. They already knew that they wanted me. My propaganda machine was working overtime. They probably hired me just so that people would shut up about me. OK, not really, but it is good to have friends.


Monday, July 23, 2012

Keep it Real Week Two: Skeletons in My Closet

Whew, I'm a little late. Sorry! I've had a bit of a day. No worries though.

I only have about 15-20 unfinished things right now. Most of them have been unfinished for a really long time. Like several years. It's a terrible habit.

Things I could have posted:

Pretty much  my whole kitchen.
An apron I started 6 months ago.
The molding in Daniel's room.
Paint in my bedroom.
The tile in the front bathroom.
The bench in my dining room.

And on and on and on.

And on.

But I chose  my closet.

We took all of the carpet out of our house about 6 years ago. My original plan was to stain the concrete, but we ended up with tile in the living and dining and wood laminate in the rest of the house. Except for the closet. I think we just kind of forgot about it. Flash forward to a few weeks ago. I got a wild hair and decided to clean it out. That's how the shoes ended up in the bath tubBut it is still concrete in there. Like with spray paint from the builders and maybe even a tack strip or two. 

We're classy folk.

The carpet glue kind of makes it look like abstract art. Check out that tack strip action in the corner. 

So, what have you left unfinished? Link us up!
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